BF asked me how my blog is going the other day. We were all in the bathroom. He had just given the Little One a bath, and was now trying to help her brush her teeth, whilst I was in the loo hoping the toilet flush would work this time, and simultaneously checking work emails on my phone and trying to follow what he was saying about when the builders were coming to fix our mouldy kitchen. I didn’t respond — just smirked.
This is what life has been like this September. Just trying to stay afloat. Work has been and will be crazy, the house is collapsing because of building works and piles of laundry left untouched for weeks. In the meantime, I keep writing posts in my head, on the tube, during dull meetings, while breastfeeding Little One to sleep. Not sure when I’ll find the time to actually write them down. I’m worried about all these fleeting thoughts during our first year with the Little One. I need to find the time to write them down.
There are three moments I treasure during the day:
A hot cup of black tea first thing in the morning. During pregnancy it wasn’t black and for the first few months of the Little One’s life if was never hot. I can now have it again and it makes me wonder how I managed to function without it for such a long time.
Stealing some time to read something non work related on the tube or the bus. I’m reading Hollie McNish’s Nobody Told Me. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve read in a while. Pretty much the only book about pregnancy, birth and parenthood one needs to read. BF said he’ll read it when I’m done.
Cuddling and nursing the Little One, especially at night. She’s with my Mum or BF for most of the day. But at night it’s just me and her. Even if she is the only one ‘breastsleeping’, as I usually stay awake looking at her, and hearing her breath, and smelling her baby smell until the small hours.
I have to work this Saturday. But tomorrow I’ll get to spend the whole day with the Little One and maybe fold some laundry.
All is good, I’m grateful for all we have and for the fact that we somehow manage to stay afloat. Just about.