A day in the life · Feminism · Pregnancy

Rude things people say to you when you are pregnant

Cross-posted from mumsnet

665654ae3078b5c40c0eaf7883a37dcb
Image credits: STORQ

Work colleague 1 (female): “SO ARE YOU PREGNANT???!?” (very loudly, in the middle of our shared kitchen, 2 weeks before I had even told my boss)

Work colleague 2 (female): “I knew you were pregnant when I saw you from behind because you are… wider!”

Work colleague 3 (male): “I knew you were pregnant before you said anything because you know… massive boobs!”

Work colleague 3 (male): “How long will you be with us for?” Because I’d clearly leave work and become a stay at home mum after having a baby. (Nothing wrong with staying at home with kids obviously, only with the assumption that this will definitely be the case.)

Work colleague 4 (male): “So when are you going to POP??!?”

Work colleague 5 (male): “Don’t worry about working so close to your due date, I’m sure the baby will be late as all people from [insert Southern European country I’m originally from] are always late!”

More than one work colleagues: “Are you SURE you’re not having twins??”

I could go on. What suddenly dawned on me while writing this is that, when put together, these seemingly innocuous comments clearly show the level of entitlement people have to observe and comment on women’s bodies, especially when pregnant. I mean, I had no idea these people that I bump into every day and chat over a cup of tea in the kitchen even looked at my boobs and waist size?! And even though I was fully aware of attitudes towards pregnant women and I got annoyed with each individual comment at the time, looking at these comments together somehow makes it so much more obvious.

So next time you see a pregnant woman, please kindly STFU. x

Breastfeeding · Feminism · Parenting · Politics

7 people who won’t have a say on when we will stop breastfeeding

1.
My (otherwise lovely) friend and work colleague, who begged me to say that I won’t be ‘one of those Hackney / hippie / f****** creepy women’ who breastfeed their children once they start walking and talking, completely ignoring the potential health benefits of extended breastfeeding.

2.
Our (otherwise lovely) friend, who equates breastfeeding a toddler with being an off-grid, homeschooling, anti-vaxxer, attachment parenting extremist.

3.
My Mum, who helped me immensely with latch and sleep and everything else when the Little One was a newborn, but is now looking after the Little One in the daytime, and sometimes gets frustrated because the Little One won’t eat her pureed sweet potato, broccoli and spinach (between me and you, I wouldn’t either) and go for a breastfeed (or expressed milk bottle if I’m away at a work meeting) instead.

4.
My (otherwise lovely) Father-in-Law, who is very supportive of breastfeeding as it’s something natural as long as we are not ‘one of those people’ who go to extremes and breastfeed their 5-year-old.

5.
The (otherwise lovely) friendly mum I met at the local children’s centre, who asked me ‘how long I was planning to go on for’.

6.
The (seemingly lovely) headmaster whose nursery we visited last week, who kept talking about the importance of knowing the quantity of formula feeds, schedules, routines and regular nap times for 1-year-olds (guess who sent the application form straight into the recycling bin).

7.
My (almost always lovely) BF, well, because he’s been hugely supportive of me breastfeeding and, as long as we make informed decisions about the Little One’s health, I don’t think he gives a toss really.

Because the only person that gets a say in this is the Little One. She has been very assertive when it comes to her needs since she was born so I am sure she will let me know when the time comes. 🙂

Craig-7_ddw8fw

Image credits: May Burke

PS1 I remember coming across this article a little before or after we had the Little One (it’s all a blur now). I remember finding those photos weird the first time round. But like one of these music records that takes a few listens before it starts growing on you, I came to appreciate their beauty. Maybe that will be me and Little One one day. But only if she fancies it.

PS2 Starting writing this when the Little One fell asleep, finished writing while breastfeeding to sleep. 🙂

SaveSave